Rex

I prayed "Oh God, please help and forgive."

There was a time in my life when I had to make a decision. It was during a church service that a challenge was issued: “Give your life completely to Jesus or not.” There were many questions in my mind, every reason why to not accept that challenge. Amid my turmoil and conflict, I did give my heart to Jesus. I remember thinking all was now in God’s hands. My inward prayer was: “I will always give to anyone who asks of me.”

The next day I travelled to London on the train. After arriving at the station, just before the ticket barrier I saw a middle-aged man, unclean and scruffy, come into view. Despite every effort to avoid him, we came face to face. “Got a shilling for a cup of tea?” the man asked. “Err – no! Sorry, I
have no change,” was my immediate reply.

Suddenly, terrible guilt overwhelmed me. The words of my prayer came to mind: “You said that you would give to anybody who asked.” I had broken my promise to God without thinking. There was no peace, the situation could not be retrieved. There was not another deserving person in sight. I prayed “Oh God, please help and forgive.”

Sitting in a church opposite the station whilst waiting for my connection, my mind was uneasy and prayer difficult. Then I sat in a café next to the train platform thinking, “If only I had another chance!” As I went to leave, suddenly the man I had met stood at the door in front of me! Taking a pound from my pocket I placed it in his grubby hand. With loving eyes, he looked and quietly asked: “Why did you not do this the first time?” Then he just disappeared into the crowd. A second chance had been given me, now there was peace in my mind.

On that day, I discovered that God reveals Himself in many different ways – ways that are often unnoticed or unrecognised; that when following Jesus, one thing is certain, expect the unexpected. I have since found my faith tested many times by every-day happenings. Often God’s love and care has seemed hidden and distant. Just the same as when I met the homeless man, I could not recognise what God was doing. Only after that meeting was I able to see, that with Jesus we are forgiven our failures and His love is never ending.