Bernard Horrocks
Bernard
Horrocks
“
‘Bernard, I died for you’. It totally broke me: I was crying and just at for ages trying to comprehend the enormity of what had happened – it was true! Jesus really did die for me.
On a day when something important is going to happen – like getting married, the birth of my two daughters, Wigan Athletic winning the FA Cup in 2013 – I would always have a nervous energy. But on the most important day of my life, I didn’t know what was going to happen, so I was calm, even cool!
In July 1978, I was 27, happily married, had a good engineering job and didn’t know I needed Jesus. My wife Elaine, who worked at the Open University, wanted me to join her over the weekend at York where she had to go with her work to a summer school. She asked me to go to church with her and I agreed to please her, I wasn’t a regular churchgoer and didn’t have a personal faith. I thought it would be York Cathedral, but she wanted me to go to the little church just next to it: St Michael le Belfrey. This was an Anglican church and during the service I went forward to receive communion as I had done in my Catholic upbringing. A communion hymn was being sung ‘Broken for me, broken for you, the body of Jesus broken for you’. During communion I had a vision of Christ on the cross. There was a brutal beauty in what I saw. Jesus was marred, you couldn’t describe what He looked like, but His eyes seem to meet mine with an overwhelming love. Jesus spoke to me ‘Bernard, I died for you’. It totally broke me: I was crying and just sat for ages trying to comprehend the enormity of what had happened – it was true! Jesus really did die for me. I didn’t realise at the time that I had experienced being ‘born again’ but I couldn’t deny what had happened and didn’t want to.
When I share the vision, it still impacts me, even after 40 years, and I can cry tears of joy and that is beautiful, because I don’t want to lose what Jesus has done for me and is still doing today.
Knowing Jesus isn’t just a one-off happening. On several occasions He has guided me on major decisions in my life – He spoke directly to me to take a teaching job at Dunstable College which developed into a 30+ year career in education.
Knowing Jesus doesn’t mean everything is going to be great from now on. In John’s gospel, Jesus said to the disciples: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart I have overcome the world.” My family has over several decades suffered illness, but I praise the Lord that my wife and two daughters know and love Him.